Ah, Disney World. The land of magic, wonder, and endless frustration. I’m not sure what’s more astonishing, the sheer number of people who flock to this place or the fact that anyone can still manage to have a good time amidst all the chaos.
I recently had the, ahem, pleasure of visiting Disney World during the infamous April vacation week. And let me tell you, it was an experience I’ll never forget. Mainly because I’m still trying to recover from the trauma.
First of all, there’s the walking. Or should I say, the attempt at walking. You see, at Disney World, it’s not uncommon for people to just stop dead in their tracks, often without warning, to take in the sights, sounds, and occasional character meet-and-greet. And by “occasional character meet-and-greet,” I mean “every 5 feet.” It’s like they’re trying to recreate the experience of walking through a crowded city street, minus the charm and character of, say, New York City or Paris.
And then, of course, there are the mobility scooters. Ah, the mobility scooters. Those wonderful, magical devices that allow people to zoom around the park with ease, often at the expense of anyone who happens to be walking in their path. I swear, some of these people must have a need for speed, because they’re flying around those scooters like they’re in the Indy 500. I’m just waiting for the day when they start handing out tiny little helmets and neck supports.
But hey, at least the kids are having fun, right? Wrong. I mean, sure, they’re having fun, but they’re also screaming. Constantly. At the top of their lungs. Like, I-get-it, you’re excited to be at Disney World, but can you please, for the love of all things good and holy, just keep it down to a dull roar? My eardrums are still recovering.
And don’t even get me started on the prices. I mean, I know Disney World is a premium destination and all that, but come on. $10 for a churro? $15 for a burger? You’ve got to be kidding me. I’ve seen cheaper prices at a Yankees game.
But hey, at least the rides are worth it, right? Wrong again. I mean, sure, the rides are great and all, but the wait times? Forget about it. I waited in line for Space Mountain for over 2 hours. Two hours! That’s longer than some of the lines at the DMV.
And don’t even get me started on the Lightning Lane system. I mean, what’s the point of even having a Lightning Lane if you’re still going to have to wait in line for 30 minutes and pay $20-$30 for it? It’s like they’re just taunting us at this point.
But despite all the chaos and frustration, I have to admit, there’s still something magical about Disney World. Maybe it’s the charm of the characters, the excitement of the rides, or the sheer spectacle of it all. Whatever it is, it’s enough to keep me coming back, even if it kills me.
So, if you’re planning a trip to Disney World anytime soon, just remember: take a deep breath, be patient, and for the love of all things good and holy, watch out for those mobility scooters.
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